Perspectives from a Police Wife: What is a Police Wife?

What is a Police Wife?

We are the silent figure, standing in the doorway as our husband leaves for his shift. We are the ones who answer the million questions from family at the holidays when they ask, “Oh is he working again?” We are the ones who try to keep our family together when the world is crumbling around us and the evils of the world are closing in.  We are the ones who love with their entire being, knowing that their lives can change in an instant. In that instant, it could be a phone call, or a knock on the door that will rip our hearts straight out of our chests. 

For most police wives, this is an everyday reality. Yet we are strong. We still go to work and give it our all. Underneath the soft, artificial smile, the fear and the piercing anxiety is still there. It’s there having adapted from our attempts to trample it down. It’s still there lashing out and rearing it foolish head.   

From the previous sentences, you can only be thinking, “Who on earth, in their right mind would do that?” Well I am here to tell you that I would. I am one of those crazy police wives and we are by no means small in number.  Before anyone out there says, “Well, you knew what you were getting into when you married him.” “YES, yes, I did.” Every police wife knows when they say, “I do,” that there is a risk of their husband not coming home. I also know that I wouldn’t change a thing about my husband. He is truly a wonderful husband, father and police office, just like other officers across our great nation. Would I want him in a different career? My initial reaction would be, “Yes! Of course!” Then after a few moments of considering the question, I don’t think I would. Being a police officer is something he loves. He puts his entire heart into being a better officer for his community.  He doesn’t see his career as something that he does for a paycheck, this is his calling and I know he wouldn’t be happy doing thing else in this world.

As a wife, I can only offer my love and support. This would be the same no matter what my husband had decided to accomplish as a career. One of our jobs in marriage is to support and trust our husbands. We must trust in his ability to do his job. Sure, I have concerns, just like every other police wife. But those concerns must be dampened down as not to put stress on our officer. Undeniably, this isn’t the easiest thing, but we do it out of love.

We as human beings need to vent to someone, anyone else, and the harsh reality is that unless they are a fellow police wife or family, more than likely they will not understand your struggle with the terror.  Your best friend may ask, “Why you put up with all the stress and anxiety that is in your life. Why would you endure the gut-wrenching heartache that consumes you when an officer is killed?” Only a select few will know why we are always cautious when talking, always careful not to say too much to someone you have just met, as it could put your husband or family in direct danger. There are so many “why” questions. There will always be the “why” questions every time you attempt to make new friends. The best and most simple answer to all the “why” questions that I can give you is this- - I am a police wife. I was born for this. 

~ Rooster's beloved Wife