Developing Identity Outside of the Badge: A Commentary On Police Officers and Their Struggles With Life

My world in one picture. That is the best way to describe the photos uploaded with this blog. My wife, my sons, and having them together at one time. Spending time with family, making memories, and living the best life possible to be a great example to my children as a father and a husband.

It is difficult, from my perspective, to develop an identity outside of being a police officer. Many police officers often find themselves struggling to develop an identity outside of their job. In my experience, I have worked with several police officers who develop their identities around the aspects of the job.

Perhaps that is the reason that officers tarnish the badge. We, as police officers, are accustomed to being in control of everything around us at all times. Unfortunately, we often find it difficult to control every aspect of our home life. As such, there are many officers who allow anger and bitterness to build due to their lack of control at home.

When I was going through my divorce with my first wife, I felt an incredible amount of anger. Let me impede on this topic, for a second, and state that I am an avid journal writer. I write in my journal every night or every other night, depending on the circumstances at home. Feeling the anger that I felt while going through my divorce caused me to develop several feelings that I would not normally feel. Most of all, I had developed a severe anger issue and took my frustrations out on my journal.

After completing the journal, which was a standard year-long journal, I had to get my wife to seal the journal in a safe so that my children could not read it. Today, when I read it or consider the words that are in there, I am ashamed at myself for allowing my anger to consume me. However, one important characteristic I learned about myself was that I can overcome adversity. 

Another important milestone in this period of my life was that I learned several ways to channel my anger and develop my identity outside of being a law enforcement officer. I learned who I was without the badge. I developed into a stronger and calmer person. I also learned how to become a better person and become a person that my children and wife would be proud of. 

We as police officers find ourselves immersed in the police culture. We often find ourselves unable to identify with others outside of law enforcement. As such, our social lives and our marriages suffer. Unfortunately, with the high rate of divorce and suicide in law enforcement, many officers fail to ever grasp life outside of the badge. Officers find that they are unable to control the circumstances of their lives and therefore, often commit atrocious acts out of response. 

There are resources in the law enforcement world that will help officers who are in distress. However, most importantly, officers can help themselves by remembering that there is a life outside of their patrol car. There is a life waiting for you at home with your family and loved ones. More importantly, you are someone besides an officer. You are a husband, wife, father, mother, brother, sister, and special to someone. Never lose sight of who you are. Do not lose yourself in the dark world that we often find ourselves immersed in while we work our watch.

Stay safe and strong brothers and sisters of the badge. If you are not law enforcement and you read this, remember that they are people to. They have others who love them and others who look to them for guidance. Talk to a police officer about their life at home. Not their life on the job. The best conversation I ever had with a citizen was about someone asking me how my wife and children felt about me being a police officer and how they helped me to forget the horrible events I witness at work sometimes.

Like and comment on this blog and share it with your friends and family. Share it with brothers and sisters of the badge. Share it with the world so that they can see that police officers are real people with real problems.

Thank you!